Let’s be honest. If we took a poll of all the Catholics in the world and asked each person what their least favorite part of the Catholic Faith is, “going to confession” would probably be somewhere near, if not in, the top spot. Very few people like going to confession. Why? Most people’s quick answer would be that they’re embarrassed of what the priest might think about them. Unfortunately, the truer (more true?) answer is this: People don’t recognize the gift of forgiveness that comes from the sacrament. What they’re REALLY scared of is their belief that they’ve done things that are too horrible for God to forgive. There, I said it. One thing about me is I’m never lacking in harsh realities. But in all seriousness, the reason people don’t go isn’t one of pride. Sure, that might play a small part in their rationalization, but the reality is that if we fully understood and accepted the forgiveness of sins that comes along with the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we wouldn’t think twice about the embarrassment factor. (Ok, maybe twice, but definitely not three times.) To help us better understand how we receive that forgiveness, let’s finally dive into what actually makes up the formal structure of the sacrament.
First of all, the question arises of who actually can/should receive the sacrament. Simply/broadly put, any baptized Catholic with right heart and mind may receive the sacrament of his own will at any time, although it should not be abused/taken advantage of. We shouldn’t just do whatever we feel like doing in our lives with full knowledge that what we’re doing is wrong while in the back of our minds saying, “Oh, it’s ok…I’ll just go to confession for what I’m about to do.” Although it unfortunately might happen from time to time (hey, it’s even happened to me more often that I’d like to admit), we should make sure that before we go to confession, we are TRULY sorry for what we’ve done. Just like apologizing to a friend you’ve treated badly, an apology to God needs to be sincere for you to be truly forgiven—and to RECOGNIZE that forgiveness.
The Rites, Vol. 1 of the Catholic Church outlines the form of the sacrament. It’s noted as the “Rite for Reconciliation of Individual Penitents.” Here’s the format (with my frequent interjections and explanations):
1. Reception of the Penitent
a. Priest welcomes penitent warmly and greets him with kindness
b. Penitent makes sign of the cross with or without the priest
c. Priest invites the penitent to have trust in God prescribedly by saying “May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy” to which the penitent answers “Amen.” Similar words may be used by the priest in place of the prescribed prayer.
When you first enter the confessional, whether sitting in a chair facing the priest or sitting or kneeling behind a privacy screen (which I’m pretty much in high opposition to, but hey, to each his own, right?), the priest should make some acknowledgement of your presence. Granted, this is much easier on the priest if you “man up” (or “woman up”) and opt for the face-to-face confession. After all, the beauty of the Sacrament of Reconciliation being ministered by a priest is the fact that you have a real, tangible, visible person who you can talk to and interact with forgiving your sins (as he was ordained by God to do as an assistant to the direct successors of the apostles who were commissioned by Jesus to do so…re-read the last post if you’re still fuzzy on the Scripture references for that concept). Anyway, once you’ve said your hellos, it’s time to get started. You, as the person going to confession, make the Sign of the Cross (don’t forget to go back and read I Saw the Sign for a refresher on why this is a super-prayerful action). Traditionally, a formula that’s given to help guide people along in the sacrament tells you to say, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned; it has been _________ since my last confession.” If this helps you along in your preparation for the sacrament, feel free. If not, just continue along.
2. Reading of the Word of God (Optional)
a. Priest may read or recite from memory Scripture passage which shows God’s mercy and calls man to conversion.
3. Confession of Sins and Acceptance of Satisfaction
a. As an option of general confession, the Confiteor may be recited by the penitent.
b. Confession of sins occurs. Priest may aid in recalling of sins, and may give counsel; urges penitent to be truly sorry for his faults to experience fullness of forgiveness.
c. Priest assigns a penance (fitting to the sin) for the penitent to perform as a sign of personal atonement before God in thanksgiving for his forgiveness.
If you’ve called a priest and scheduled a particular time to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, the priest might take a little extra time with you and offer that #2 option of a Scripture Reading. However, if you wait until the typical “10 minutes before Mass starts,” simply because it’s convenient, well, beggars can’t be choosers, can they? Especially since there are probably 5 other people hoping to squeeze in a quick confession before Mass, too. Now The Rites, Vol. 1 talks about saying the Confiteor as an option of general confession. The Confiteor is the prayer that we recite as part of the Penitential Rite at Mass that begins “I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers & sisters…” Typically, though, confession involves ACTUAL confession, which brings us to the real “meat & potatoes” of the Sacrament here: Confession.
Don’t be scared…start with the big ones. They’re the reason you came in the first place, aren’t they? Don’t be afraid to turn this part into a conversation with the priest, either. Like the outline says above, the priest can help you in recalling sins, usually by urging you to consider different angles of certain situations, and—as usually happens in my case—poking holes in your horribly sad attempts to logically justify your sins. Get over yourself…they’re sins, and no amount of justification just to make yourself feel better is going to change that. If something’s legitimately not a sin, the priest will probably point that out. Also, the priest is encouraged to give you counsel. If you really open yourself up to this guy, you might be surprised at the different perspective he can put on how you might go about avoiding these sins in the future. Just like a psychiatrist or a psychologist can help you fix your mind, the priest can help you fix your soul. That’s ultimately his day job, anyway. Let him do it. Let him give you some challenging things to think about.
After your confession, the priest may help you realize why what you did wasn’t great. Remember, if we aren’t truly sorry, it’s hard to truly recognize the forgiveness we need. Then the priest will give you a penance. Here’s where it gets tricky. This all depends on the priest. Some priests go for the tried and true “3 Hail Mary’s,” while others get a little more creative. One priest I went to confession with while I was in the Seminary once gave me the penance of waking up a little early to watch the sunrise and recognize the glory of God’s creation. The penance should “technically” be some sort of sacrifice that makes you appreciate the whole circumstance of Jesus’ suffering on the cross in atonement for our sins, but ultimately it all comes down to accepting God’s love, so a little interpretation in this way by the priest seems like a pretty ok concept. In the end, it’s all helping foster reconciliation with God, so it’s all means to the same end.
In the interest of time—and of decreasing lengths of attention spans of modern readers—we’ll hang it up there for today. In the next post we’ll finish unpacking the formal order of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and wrap up with some FAQs about the sacrament.
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